There was a time in my life where I questioned my purpose – not because I did not feel wanted or needed, but because I did not understand His plan for me. I can’t tell you I had a hard life. Or that I have had to overcome difficult circumstances, because growing up, life was easy. I had two parents who loved me unconditionally – still do (although they are grandparents now and say that is the best kind of love!). I went to school. I LOVED school!!! I graduated high school and started college the next semester.
Although I changed my major many times, music was always my constant. I started out as an undecided major but the pressure from peers asking what I was studying almost forced me to pick something. Pre-med was my first decided major, I thought if I can make it through all current seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, I could surely work in the medical field. . . Then found myself in an anatomy class and quickly found out that was not my cup of tea! Next was business. I took an accounting and an economics class and reaffirmed that I was TERRIBLE at math!! I then turned to music, thinking I can study music and I’ll be fine. I’ll have an answer to tell people what I’m majoring in and I’ll finish school!
Then came all the questions about what I would do with that degree – which I seemingly didn’t have the answers to! You see, what I didn’t tell you is that all along my parents told me I would be a teacher (it was in my blood after all!). I remember taking my first education class and coming out of it thinking “Wow! This is what I was meant to do!” I had my lightbulb moment – everything seemed to make sense! So my junior year of college I changed my major to music education. Which resulted in having two senior years (I was a fifth year senior, but better late than never!).
Fast forward a little, I graduated and started working full time at the restaurant I had been employed at through college. I did not get a job right out of college. A year rolled by, a job in our small town opened up so I applied. I was optimistic, excited, a ball of emotions! Two weeks before school started I found out I didn’t get the job.
I was crushed. Devastated. Confused.
I couldn’t understand how I had put all those years (and money!) into studying for something and still couldn’t find a job! I was questioning if I was actually meant to be a teacher. I found myself in the “valley of the shadow of death”. I didn’t understand how God would lead me in a direction and not reward me for listening.
A few weeks went by and I ran into a couple of former teachers of mine at the grocery. We caught up a little on life and they both mentioned that their church was looking for someone to be over their children’s ministry. I listened to them and thought to myself “I haven’t been to church since my sophomore year of college . . . other than the times we sang at a church”. Later that evening I received emails from both of my former teachers with information about the job and who to contact. Still unsure if this was what I was supposed to do I closed the email and decided to think on it for a day.
The next day I woke up and opened my computer to watch Netflix and the email popped up again. I read it again and decided to send my resume and see what would come of it. I don’t have to tell you that I was offered and accepted the job – because here I am working at Keith UMC.
But I do have to tell you that Keith church has changed my life. When I started working with children again, my life made sense. I have since taken a job teaching music at two of our city schools and am still working with the church.
When I tell you I am blessed beyond measure, I truly mean it! When I say my cup runneth over, it indeed does! I have the BEST job in the WORLD!! I get to love on children every day! I get to greet each and every one of them with a smile every morning as they enter the school! Some are sleepy, some are WIDE AWAKE, some are crying, some are laughing, some look like they didn’t get any sleep the night before, some are wearing the same clothes as yesterday, others are in brand new outfits. No matter the circumstance they live in, I get to show them love EVERY SINGLE DAY while they are here at school.
As I’m going through rules and procedures with each class, my focus is on being kind and loving all of our friends here at school. I follow this up by saying that we are all friends with each other. I tell them they are my friends and that I love each of them. I know some people might think I’m just excited because it’s my first year in the classroom but it is so much more than that! I’m no longer in the valley. God brought me out. He knew what the path for me was even when I couldn’t see it. I look and think about how I thought my life was terrible and I had no purpose when really God was at work in my life. I know it’s cliché to say “looking back, I now understand the reason that He let those things happen” but it is so TRUE! Gosh, it gets SO hard to understand things when you are still going through them, but keep walking! Keep your head up! You’ll soon find yourself out of that valley.
Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
God’s there. Whether you feel His presence or not, he’s there with you. He’s got you!
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